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Dog-napping 101

dognapped basset hound

Please don't take me

My friend has just found a puppy dog and is wondering what to do with it as he can’t find the owner. So this reminded me of something that I’ve been wanting to get off my chest for a while.

One day back when I was young in the UK, we’re driving off to my Gran’s for Sunday lunch. About 100m from our place, we see this basset hound wandering around on some grass at the corner of two roads.

Earlier, I’d seen a poster advertising a reward for a missing dog with a photo of a basset hound. We pull-over, put this dog in the car, drive back to our place, shut the dog in a room and then leave again to find this poster.

We grab the poster and I call the number while mum drives us to my gran’s half an hour away. There’s an answer machine message so I leave a message saying we’ve found their dog.

5 or 6 hours later, we head home and I get a phone call. It’s the dog people and they say they found their dog ages ago.

We get home and the dog’s wandering around our house looking sad … although that could just be a basset hound thing. I walk back down to where we picked it up and have a look around. I’m standing next to this long driveway so I walk up it and knock on the door.

This lady answers and I realise that she’s a substitute teacher at my high school. I tell her I’ve found a basset hound. She breaks down into tears of happiness and I walk her back to my house. She comes in and is like “Yup. That’s my dog. Where did you find him?” I said “Oh er like about a kilometre from your house, way down the road” and she says “That’s weird. He always wanders down the driveway to that grassy patch and never goes any further. My two little girls will be so happy. They’ve been bawling their eyes out all day.”

She leaves with the dog and my mum’s just standing there looking at me and trying not to laugh. I wander outside and start mowing the lawn.

15 minutes later I see her coming back up our driveway. “Crap” I think. I wander over and say “Everything ok?” and she says “We’re just so happy and I wanted to give you this” and hands me 20 quid ($50NZ). I’m like “Er … no … no don’t worry about it” but she insists and I keep the 20.

Possible business idea anyone?

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